Death hurts, that much is obvious. It might feel as though a tiny piece of your universe has just been taken away when someone who has impacted your life passes away. There are several stops along the path of mourning. It’s normal to have certain moments along that trip where you doubt or question yourself.
Some of the most common questions we ask are:
- Why did this occur to us or me?
- Why didn’t I act more quickly?
- Why would God let such a tragedy occur?
- What can I do to begin feeling better?
- How would s/he prefer that I proceed?
- How do I see the bright side of everything?
You’re not alone if you ask questions like these, so don’t worry. It’s quite natural to ask yourself these kinds of questions while you go through the grieving process. Everyone has various questions, which makes sense.
We all experience grief in different ways, and our reactions vary.
However, these are the top five queries people ask, according to the best funeral parlor Singapore, supporting grieving families.
What should I do if I don’t think I’ll ever get over losing my husband (or kid, sibling, or friend)?
Death is not something to attempt to beat when someone passes away. This is because death is an unfixable problem. Instead, it’s something you learn to live with soon after attending the catholic funeral Singapore while advancing.
Simply put, I constantly feel lonely. Even in my support group, I sometimes feel as though no one can relate. What’s the matter with me?
Nothing. Grief is, to put it mildly, unique and personal. Everyone’s response to grief will be unique. Even though you both suffered the same loss, the way that person is handling it and feeling may be very different from yours.
Grief frequently seems like a jumble of feelings and can be lonely. You can be smiling while watching a movie one minute and crying the next. Even though it seems like no one can relate, talking about your feelings can help you process your emotions and manage sorrow.
Some of my pals seem to be slipping away, in my opinion. Why don’t they make an effort to help me?
Losing someone alters your entire universe. Sadly, your pals could believe that you are no longer relatable. Another scenario is that they might only experience discomfort. Some individuals can’t stand the idea of being around grief.
Do not be hesitant to reach out to your buddy if you sense that they may be growing distant. Perhaps having a heart-to-heart with them can help them see that even though it’s hard, you still need them to be there for you.
You must also comprehend something crucial at the same time. They have the option to decline. Despite how unpleasant and sad it may be, they might desire to distance themselves. We hope not. But be aware that this can occur, and above all, don’t allow that to prevent you from speaking out if you want to.
Why is the doctor or therapist attempting to give me medicine when I don’t feel comfortable doing so? How do I refuse them?
Inform them that you are uncertain and uneasy about that. You might also inquire as to what they perceive that leads them to believe that medicine is the answer. You may also inquire as to what might occur if you reject it. In any situation, don’t be averse to speaking out and objecting.
My loved one’s demise has been months or years ago. Why am I still not feeling better?
Grief is different from fracturing your wrist or spraining your ankle. There is no set period for complete recovery. Healing frequently happens in stages. You gradually accomplish these goals and start to feel a bit better over time.
Additionally, it’s critical to have compassion for oneself. Being hard on yourself for not feeling better is simple to do. Try to find delight in the simple things you like rather than overthinking and hurting yourself. You’ll gradually come to understand that every grin or chuckle, no matter how fleeting, represents another step forward in the process.
How can I help a grieving friend?
The emotional suffering and stress that follow the death of a friend or family member can be crippling. If this has ever happened to you, you are aware of how challenging it may be. Naturally, you want to be there for a friend when they lose someone dear to them. However, even the best-laid plans don’t always work out as we had hoped.
Just keep in mind that you are not able to address all of your friend’s issues, but you can support them through this trying time. We’re going to look at ways to support a mourning friend in this section.
Here are some suggestions on how to support a mourning friend as well as some words of caution for what not to say or do.
Be present to hear:
Sometimes all someone needs are someone to sit with them while they talk. Making oneself available to grieving buddies when they need to chat is one of the finest ways to support them during their loss.
Your acquaintance could wish to chat about memories of a loved one or simply express how they are feeling. Remember to speak less and listen more in both scenarios.
Try to resist the need to provide advice and instead simply be there to listen and be encouraging. Being there for someone is sometimes the greatest way to soothe them.
Describe how you can help:
It’s normal for people to provide support to those who have lost something. If there’s anything they need is one of the most repeated phrases after death happens.
However, this is problematic since it is simply too ambiguous. Being helpful is a terrific idea.
However, if the question is left open-ended, it puts the onus on the bereaved to ask. When they are already overwhelmed with loss, it can be challenging for some individuals to seek assistance.
Ensure that your offer is detailed if you truly wish to assist your pal. Your buddy could be experiencing overwhelming sadness and unsure of how you can support them. Helping others doesn’t have to be a big gesture. Simple tasks like picking up the kids from school or taking care of the lawn can assist.
What should you avoid saying to a bereaved person?
Be cautious about what you say or how you say it while trying to talk to someone who is mourning. Naturally, you want to be there for a buddy to offer support and alleviate their suffering. However, there are situations when you unintentionally say something that doesn’t provide the grieving any comfort or support.
When conversing with someone who has lost someone, avoid using the following words and phrases:
- They’re now in a better situation
- I can feel your pain
- Everything occurs for a purpose and is part of God’s larger plan
- Don’t cry because they are now in a better place
Choose a grief care package:
You might want to think about putting together a care package for a friend who is mourning. A bereavement care package might contain a variety of different sorts of products. Top Singaporean funeral homes frequently advise families to add toiletries, food, reassuring presents like candles or blankets, and grief support materials.